he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
