At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
if i can run in heels then i can drive
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
