why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
