I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
