She said her name was "party"
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i think i have herpe
just one?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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