Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
