I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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