so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
