it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
