It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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