I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
