super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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