Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
