He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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