i just made my gag reflex go away.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize