She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
