its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
