yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am one with the molecules
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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