Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
