his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
