I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
