You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
