Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he fucked my hip out of place.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
