When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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