is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
