please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
