I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
love makes seman taste better
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
