if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
