If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
