In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
