why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
stop calling my apartment porn island.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
