Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
