forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
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