did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
