carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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