I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
