When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
