wake up i wanna do it froggy style
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
