it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
