So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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