She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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