No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
