I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
