You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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