dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
