Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
