You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It was like getting head from an anaconda
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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