Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
