he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
