batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
